Bookbinding saved me
How could a needle, thread and paper made into a book save me?
Looking back it shouldn’t surprise me how I would develop this fascination for bookbinding today. After school and during the holidays, you’d find me (or not find me at all!) sitting at my balcony, pretending to be a real Juliet. (You should also know that I was given my English name by my Aussie aunt so I wasn’t actually that big a fan of my name then being teased by school kids.) But somehow on the balcony, I found myself escaping that world - puberty, heartaches (crushes and puppies included), boredom of school and routines - into my diaries and journals.
I wrote feverishly most days. Unloading what words that couldn’t escape my mouth in school. Later on in my university years music, stage and a recording contract found me. So I left my diaries and journals for manuscripts, and many, many, many TextEdit-s and Google Doc-s files, filling them with chord charts and lyrics. Still I had the occasional manuscript and sketchbook to amuse myself.
A5 Cloud Journal/Sketchbook and A6 Journal's exposed spine. Available in my Etsy shop.
Fast forward many years later, I found myself again trying to figure out how to make sketchbook on my own. I found printer paper, and tried stringing them together with ‘logic’. Like you were sewing a piece of cloth. Of course they were flimsy and not quite enticing to draw in.
As a working illustrator working with sometimes tight schedules and deadlines, it can be extremely stressful during the project. Between projects, I found myself having trouble unwinding. Like a yoyo or those mechanical spring cars wound too far back, it can feel like a massive impact letting go. Sometimes, that feels worse than during the intensity of work. I found myself becoming anxious in the middle of the nights. I imagine, like the yoyo or the toy car, unwinding suddenly made me feel like there was still energy flapping about me, and in my heart, fluttering. So even as I stood still, I couldn’t find my pace immediately.
Cloud Journals and Sketchbooks are hand-bound and hand-stitched. Opens completely flat.
One night, frustrated at this repeated pattern of winding and not unwinding well, I recalled a lesson we had in the course I took with the Good Ship Illo crew about simple bookbinding. There was a video on making easy coverless sketchbooks. You can imagine all the hairs went Zing! I loved it so much, it may be my favourite part of the entire course. I scoured more youtube videos the following weeks, and tried finding affordable materials for me to try practising with. Before I knew it, my lounge was filled with finished and unfinished books, papers strewn and thread ends everywhere. And I made so. many. mistakes.
And I made so. many. mistakes. The process of bookbinding is like doing a sudoku puzzle. Meditative and demanded your complete attention. When my mind got distracted, I missed or added a stitch or two and had to redo everything. In that process of deep concentration, I found myself breathing again. Each stroke led my breath, as it slid through, led by the needle, I felt the texture between the thread and paper, and it reminded me of simple, unassuming and lovely things. Like the first time we touched the texture of a rough piece of watercolour paper, or the first drop of ink and indent we made with our pens in school. Everything was ok again.
A5 & A6 Cloud Journals/Sketchbooks in May Gibbs’ limited edition fabric. Available now here.
It was a holding space for my conversations with God. For prayer. And when I looked up, a beautiful book stitched. I cannot believe every little step led to this point. The book in my hand promises new adventures, the creative capturing of each light flare, dreams and even heartaches. It promises to be a friend. And I wanted to share it with everyone.
But I asked myself what is a journal the 13 year old me, the 25 year old me and myself now would want?
Perhaps you already know about my obsession with fabric. I genuinely love it. Even if nothing was ever made into anything, it is beautiful and wondrous on its own to me. A tiny piece of square fabric sample could take my breath away.
I had a vision but I wasn’t certain. I just wanted to make it for myself. A sketchbook and a journal with fabric book covers. It would bring calm, and welcome me to unload my thoughts, desires, dreams and sorrows when I needed to. I started the hunt for the perfect fabric.
I knew nothing about it. Other than my own fabric designs that get shipped over, I had never shopped for fabric in large amounts for something like this. It was an adventure. I met lovely people who helped me out in the shops. And then, I found it. It was May Gibbs’ gumnut babies in muted pinks and greens. It was perfect.
Off I went finding better ways to make the book covers. No one really taught it. I had to piece it together from videos and readings. But finally I did it. I was happy with it. And 2 days ago I named it Cloud. It has a name. It is my hope that you will leave lighter as on a cloud, sharing all your dreams, tasks, adventures, life stories complete or incomplete in there.
Doodle a tree, a dog, a wonky house, in pencil, charcoal, gouache, watercolour, collage… it’s up to you. Put it down, and don’t overthink it. Take a pocket-sized A6 or a more generous A5-sized sketchbook or journal out. Sit in the cafe, or a park. Have a tea, coffee or a bubble tea. Draw, write, tear, collage, scrapbook. Anything that makes you feel lighter. Like a cloud.
As I write this, it will soon be available to you.
I am exhilarated and nervous. Because it was for me first, to satisfy a need and a curiosity. And then perfected for you so you too, could experience that lightness I’ve discovered as Grace to my everyday. It is so close to the tender of my heart, that I hope you would love it too. As each one is hand-stitched and hand-bound by myself, each one is uniquely different, as you are, and just as a cloud is.
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Cloud Journals & Sketchbooks are now available for purchase:
My Etsy Shop: http://julietillustrates.etsy.com
Limited complimentary gift wrap with Floral Tapestry wrapping paper I designed with option to personalise a message on the back of the wrap or to leave blank.
Plastic-free, sustainable packaging. Kerbside-recyclable. Pls reuse before recycling.